The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis
by Weighty Ghost
Summary: Darcy had been dreaming of meeting her soulmate - a nice, normal, gorgeous guy she could fall in love with - for her entire life, but things didn't turn out anything like she imagined and, well, normal isn't exactly in the cards when it comes to dealing with superheroes. (A series of one-shots with a new Darcy pairing each chapter, inspired by whichever song comes up on shuffle)
1. Work

**The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis Chapter One: Work**

 **Song: Work by Iggy Azalea**

 **Pairing: Darcy/Loki**

* * *

Most people looked at Darcy and thought they knew everything about her. They assumed she had an easy life - two parents and a white picket fence, a good college that led her to an accidentally amazing internship which pulled her into the world of secret spies and politics.

They never saw how hard she worked to get where she was, how many sleepless nights she had spent working three jobs just to get the cash for college, with no help from her parents.

Her mother had skipped out on them when she was little, and her dad had to juggle being a working man and a single father.

She worked her butt off during middle school to get a scholarship to a good private school, where her uniform was permanently stained a red-brown from sitting alone on the school lawn for lunch (High school girls are mean. Go figure). It was there that she learned that sass and sarcasm are the best defense, and fist-fights just get you bruised knuckles and detention.

The last two years of high school she spent working three jobs, saving up enough money for Culver tuition. One plane ride later and she was settled into her barren dorm and ready to take on the world.

Which, honestly, ended working out very well.

Now, she was living in a skyscraper, rent-free, where over half the female population wore Louboutins every day. She managed to manage the Avengers and co. both personally and socially, and didn't even have to leave the building to go to work.

So, it's enough to say that her soulmark offended her.

A lot.

 _'Weak.'_

But, of course, context was important.

She'd been snarking with Stark when he'd made a comment that threw her off guard, and she had just sputtered out a far less confident "No, you are!"

Enter Loki, King of Sass.

Twenty plus years of ranting about her soulmark and he'd been talking about her awful come-back.

Oh, well. It could've been worse.

* * *

 **What do you guys think? Good, bad, ugly? Let me know with a comment! (I take constructive criticism, but flames will be used to roast marshmallows at a magnificent bonfire that you will not be invited to).**

 **XOXO, Weighty Ghost**


	2. Shoulders, Knees, and 'Oh's

**The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis Chapter Two: Shoulders, Knees, and 'Oh's**

 **Song: No song**

 **Pairing: Darcy/Steve**

* * *

There's a lot of people in the world who have vague soulmarks. In fact, Darcy had a friend growing up whose soulmark was just "Hi."

Her mark wasn't quite as bad, but it was still very... Simple.

"Yes, ma'am."

Just that. Nothing else. Whatever happened after her soulmate met her was going to be on his shoulders.

Speaking of shoulders.

Captain America was in her lab.

Jane and Doctor Banner's lab.

Darcy snuck a glance at him over her new Starkphone (thanks, Tony) and gave out a quiet whistle. If the Cap was here for her Janey, she might just start a riot. No woman should have access to the blonde muscley goodness that was Steve Rogers if she was already attached to Thor.

But also because Darcy might have been harboring an (itsy bitsy kinda not really) crush on the good Cap. Which should never be mentioned to anyone, ever, please and thank you. The morfication she would suffer if he caught her ogling would be quite enough without the added embarrassment.

Darcy breathed a tiny sigh of relief as she saw Steve passed by her bestie's cluttered desk, Jane not even acknowledging his presence, and continue on through the lab... towards her?

Darcy felt her breath catch. Nononono. She could definitely _not_ hold a coherent conversation at the present moment. Especially with Captain America. Because, hello? Darcy was 95% snark and pop culture references with no brain-to-mouth filter. There was no way she was going to come out of this conversation without offending someone.

That someone most likely being Captain America.

"Hey, what's up, Rip Van Winkle? You come to get the required daily dose of Darcy?"

Yeah, she really needs to get that filter.

Darcy internally groaned. Oops. _'There goes any chance you had, Lewis,'_ her brain snarked, like this whole thing wasn't it's fault.

But the Captain just gave a tiny smirk, and a "Yes, ma'am."

 _ **Oh.**_

* * *

 **You like? Please leave a Review! I like to know your opinions!**

 **XOXO, Weighty Ghost**


	3. tbh My Computer is Mean to Me

Hey, guys!

I'm so sorry if I got your hopes up, but I just had a quick announcement:

My computer has been having a whole bunch of issues lately, probably because it's getting old and sometimes I'm mean to it. I've managed to get all my files off of my computer and on to a USB stick, so I haven't lost anything, but it has been a while since I've been able to write (that's why this is an A/N instead of a new chap). I have actually started on the next chapter, though! Here's a hint: it's going to be Darcy/Clint. (I rhymed!) And I actually plan on doing another that's platonic!Darcy/Clint. Because Laura.

But anyway, I'll be back with a new chapter sometime soon!

XOXO, Weighty Ghost


	4. Thor and Toasters (Confused? Us, too)

**The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis Chapter Three: Thor and Toasters (Confused? Us, too.)**

 **Song: No Song**

 **Pairing: Darcy/Clint**

* * *

Growing up, Clint Barton was always confused by his soulmark.

Until S.H.I.E.L.D.

Until New Mexico.

Now he was living in the Avenger's Tower with the very subject of his soulmark, and not one step closer to finding his other half.

Now he was sitting in the communal kitchen, moping and being a general bore over his blueberry waffle. He figured, at the very least, the universe owed him the right to be a downer sometimes. He was so absorbed that he didn't even notice someone come in.

"You look more confused than Thor with a toaster," Doctor Foster's intern said, jumping up on the counter next to him.

"Ironically," Clint laughed, his sober mood lifting. "Just trying to figure out why in the world you'd greet someone like that."

The girl smiled.

"Well, at least it's memorable."

"It's my soulmark. I don't think I was ever in danger of forgetting it," Clint said, shooting a smile at her.

"Hey, could be worse. I've said some strange things in my life. You definitely did not get the brunt of it," she, Darcy, said.

"So I've heard."

"Oh, honey, you haven't heard the half of it."

* * *

 **SO. How'd y'all like it? It was a little short, but I figured messing with it any more would just, well, mess it up.**

 **Sorry it's so late! Like I said in the A/N last chapter, my computer has been mean to me. :( Oh, well...**

 **See ya soon!**

 **XOXO,**

 **Weighty Ghost**

 **PS: Shoutout to you lovely people who reviewed! Hugs and Kisses all around! You're now my fave. :)**

 **PPS: And also to my Followers/Favorites. Love y'all, too!**

 **EDIT (1/29/2017): So I just fixed a few typos that came from using an ex-evil computer to upload it :| hopefully now we can greet people instead of greating them... also, this is definitely not chapter two so idk why it was labeled that. Ahh~ what is lifeee...**


	5. Waiting For Like, Literally An Eternity

**The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis Chapter Four: Waiting For Like, Literally An Eternity: Part 1**

 **Song: Something Wild (feat. Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness) by Lindsey Stirling**

 **Pairing: Darcy/?**

* * *

Darcy always knew that big hearts got you in trouble - skinned knees and matching palms from the time she got pushed down for trying to defend that poor kitten _(why do you have to keep poking it its scared_ **stop** _)_ _,_ to the broken leg from falling out of the tree because " _it's not like the baby bird was gonna get back up there on its own, Mom."_

By the time she graduated high school, she'd been in more scrapes than she could count. It hadn't made her too fond of other people, either.

Why were they so cruel? It seemed almost every time she turned around, Darcy was faced with another bully terrifying the mess out of some poor creature (whether they were human or not was irrelevant), and she'd have to intervene.

Always.

 _For every_

 _single_

 _one._

By the time she graduated high school, she was at the end of her rope.

Her snarky, sarcastic, combative attitude didn't help much with her political science degree (you heard right, Political. Science. If you want to fix people, might as well start at the top and go down, right?), but it did help her get into Tony Stark's good graces. Which... _what?_

But Tony decided he liked her, moved her and her Janey into the Avengers Tower, set her loose in the kitchen... what more could a girl ask for?

Except, you know, for her soulmate to jUST SHOW UP ALREADY, OKAY?

But he didn't.

The only proof he existed was the inky black mark on the inside of her wrist-

 ** _"I had him on the ropes."_**

* * *

 **I actually already wrote an A/N for this but ff deleted it and I'm so done that I'm not even gonna try again XD ...**

 **Basics are:**

 **Hi, I'm back! It's in 2 parts bc I'm too tired to finish, and no, the pairing isn't going to be revealed until Part 2.**

 **buh-BYYYYYEEEE~~~ Love y'all, you random followers of some weird girl who poses as a fat ghost's writings... or something... idek anymore...**

 **XOXO,**

 **Weighty Ghost**


	6. Nosey People & Other Irrelevant Things

**The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis Chapter Number Whatever: Nosey People and Other Irrelevant Things**

 **Song: Not gonna lie, I didn't actually plan a song for this chapie (though I have really good song-ones planned, I'm psyched!) but I was listening to 'She's On My Mind' by JP Cooper... I kinda think the lyrics fit "she's on my mind, I can't sleep at night, cuz she ain't by my side" bc of Clint not getting any breaks in his hypervigilance gig or whatever... he probably ain't sleeping bc of her so whatev's. Also yeah, spoiler, the pairing is Clint.**

 **Pairing: Darcy/Clint (but you already knew that)**

* * *

Darcy didn't like not knowing things - if she knew you (and sometimes if she didn't), she would always be sticking her nose into your business.

Just as much, though, she despised it when people stuck their noses into hers.

Let's be clear, she didn't despise it out of any driving need to be as hypocritical as possible (though she did enjoy being as _difficult_ as possible, when the occasion called for it), its just that people _wouldn't stop giving her their opinions._

"Oh, Darcy, why aren't you going out with so-and-so anymore?"  
"Darcy, dear, shouldn't you be laying off the sweets? You know, you're too old for that stuff anyways..."

"Oh, my god, is that your soulmark?"

So, it's no surprise that when those nosy little agents broke in to their lab in New Mexico, Darcy was a _little_ (lot) put out.

And continued to be reminded of that feeling every time she saw the sun glinting off the "secret" agent's binoculars from where he crouched on the roof across the street. Although he was trying his hardest, its a little bit difficult to remain inconspicuous when you're dressed in all black and gleaming metal under the blazing desert sun.

By the third day after Thor had left on his Magic Rainbow of Sparkles and Spacetravel, Darcy was so far beyond pissed (no matter how much Darcy wanted to feel up the agent's arm muscles, like _woah_ ). It's not like Janey could even get up to any Science! without her equipment, anyway.

There was really no point in him continuing his observance (stalking) of them, at least not until Jane could order more materials, so bright and early on the morning of the fourth day since Thor had ever-so-gracefully abandonned Jane with his Sparkly Bridge of Awesomeness, Darcy slathered on her gettin'-things-done lipstick, made two cups of coffee (never say she wasn't polite in her prying), and climbed the fire escape of the run-down motel next door.

The rooftop was completely covered in desert dust - red sand made an inch thick layer on the concrete.

The agent obviously wasn't expecting her, his face propped on one hand while he watched Jane's morning "My Science is GONE" mope.

Darcy stepped forward on to the roof, fire escape creaking as she shifted her weight. The agent jumped, whirling around into a defensive stance.

"What were you thinking? I could have killed you!" Agent chided as soon as his shoulders relaxed.

"You literally only have binoculars," Darcy sassed. "What would you have done? Watched me to death? 'Cause if that was the goal, you've pretty much accomplished it."

"Oh, god. _You?"_

"Wow, okay. Thanks for the vote of confidence, d-bag. Just because I'm not the soulmate you wanted, doesn't mean you get to be rude about it." She huffed in frustration. "And here I was, being polite and bringing you coffee," she said, forcefully setting the cup down on the railing. "Bring the cup down when you finish."

She just hoped he didn't see through her ploy to see him again.

What? Darcy might be a strong independant woman, but his arms were _really nice._

Like, _really nice._

* * *

 **Is it bad that I have more free time to write during the school year than during the summer?**

 **Sorry its not a continuation of the last chapter, but I hit a major writers block with that story and thought you guys deserved** ** _something_** **for being so patient with my busy butt 3**

 **I think that was a bit more than 500 words, but like, more to love, right?**

 **Love you guys! Please review..., any ideas that you have or constructive criticism would be fabulous!**

 **XOXO, your friendly neighborhood Ghostie!**


	7. Ring Ring, Trust Gone Missing

**The Semi-Sassy Soulmates of Darcy Lewis Chapter Six: It starts out really Not Okay but it gets better sorry (or, 'Ring Ring, Trust Gone Missing')**

 **Song: Alarm by Anne-Marie**

 **Pairing: Darcy/Tony (for this, we're just going to image Tony is younger than he is canonically, k?)**

* * *

Tony Stark had a reputation.

He knew it; he knew everybody else knew it, too.

But when that beautiful girl with the chocolate brown curls and the cherry lips spoke his soulwords, he meant to keep her.

And the next morning he woke up with her beside him, sprawled out over his bed (his bed, not a guestroom - not like the others).

His might've panicked a bit, run down to his workshop and locked himself in for a few hours. (It was 4 AM, she probably wouldn't wake up for another four hours, right?) And then,

He fell asleep.

By the time he woke up, it was 10, and she was gone.

 _"Where is she, Pepper?"_

 _"You told me to send them on their way!"_

 _"Not her!"_

 _"Why? What's so special about her?"_

 _"She's my-"_

Soulmate.

Oh, god. He had lost his soulmate.

She was walking around out there, thinking he didn't want her, dropped her like she wasn't worth the gum on the bottom of his shoe.

And he had no way to find her. No name, no face, just the faintest memory of red lips, apple scented hair, the whisper of his soulwords-

She was gone.

And a week later, so was he.

When the shooting started and the bomb went off, his last thought was that he was going to die and let his soulmate down again.

At least she'd be free of him, then.

And yet, he woke up.

During the captivity, all he could think about was getting back to her. Making the arc reactor, the Iron Man armor, it was all for her.

When Yinsen asked him about his family-

 _ **A man who has everything, and nothing.**_

Then Yinsen died, Tony escaped, and when he got back home, he set JARVIS on the search.

He searched the entire country - all women under 30, over 20.

Brunettes.

Pale Skin.

Strawberry shampoo.

 _Narrower._

 ** _Narrower._**

 ** _NARROWER._**

Until eventually - three sleepless nights and enough coffee to give an elephant a heart attack later - he found her.

Darcy Lewis.

 **ooooo**

Tony Stark had a reputation.

He was an arms-dealer, the "merchant of death".

He picked up girls and dumped them in the same breath.

Darcy didn't mean to fall into bed, love, _anything_ with him to be honest.

But he was pretty much irresistable to a normal woman, even without the added attraction of soulmates.

Yeah, that's right. Tony Stark was Darcy Lewis's soulmate.

She knew she shouldn't expect much - he was a player after all - but it sent a sharp pain through her chest when she woke up alone the next morning, Miss Potts shoo-ing her out of the house.

So a heart-hurt Darcy put all the thoughts of Tony Stark out of her mind, moved in to her new apartment in New York City, and promised herself she wouldn't get hurt by him again.

And then, a week later, he went missing.

Three months of checking her mark for that (terrifying) white line through her soulmark.

Three months of feeling sick to her stomach with worry.

Three months of nightmares about burning sand and drowning.

Three months- and then there was a knock on her door.

Suddenly, somehow, she was on a private jet to Malibu, the object of her ire sitting in the luxury leather seat across from her.

"You're still not talking to me?"

"Nope."

"Not even a little?"

"Nope."

"It was just a misunderstanding."

"Nope."

 ** _"Darcy-"_**

And they lived happily ever after (she forgave him... eventually) and Darcy Lewis-Stark never put up with his BS, no matter how much it amused her.

(It amused her a lot.)

* * *

 **Look, another chapter! Sorry for the long wait, I just got kinda demotivated after losing so many followers after posting the last chapter. Anyway, my dearest sister helped motivated me to post this chapter (thankfully, or else this story probably would've ended up abandoned).**

 **So, here's an extra long chappie as an apology for the wait! The next chapter might take a while, too, because of how big my workload is this year. Sorry, guys!**

 **XOXO, Ghostie**


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